Does choosing a ’live-in’ relationship rather than marriage really make any difference? Surely the main issue is one of commitment; if it’s there, getting married is just confirming it (and, let’s be honest, often adding a lot of time, money and hassle in the process). And if the couple discover the commitment isn’t there, then it has to be better to be able to separate more easily than having to go through the trauma of a legal divorce. Doesn’t it?

Let’s have a quick look at some statistics. 75% of marriages last more than 10 years, with 60% lasting for life. On average, cohabiting relationships last two years. Half of them end within a year, ninety percent within five years. Only four percent last more than ten years. You can argue over the exact figures, but the overall trend is unarguable - cohabiting couples are far more likely to break up than those that are married.

The picture sadly gets bleaker when children appear on the scene. 8% of marriages break up within five years of the birth of the first child; that figures rises to 52% for cohabiting couples. The statistics on how children are affected by family break-ups make for grim reading; last year’s report from the Social Justice Commission reveals that children from broken families are twice as likely as those from two-parent households to have behavioural problems, perform worse at school, become sexually active at a younger age, suffer depression and turn to drugs, smoking and heavy drinking. Some estimates put the financial cost of dealing with the rise in family breakdown in the UK at £20 billion a year.

In trying to sort out the ’difficulties’ of marriage, it turns out that marriage wasn’t really the difficulty after all. As usual, the problem is us. As a society we indulge more and more in excessive drinking, gambling and casual sex. We see the social injustice of ’free trade’ yet still expect everything cut-price. We see the pain and suffering caused by relationship breakdowns, yet still scorn marriage, fatherhood and commitment. Our society gives the OK to destructive behaviour and many of us have got ’soul-damaged’ in the fallout. What is the answer?

If you feel like you’re struggling to deal with 'soul-damage', then listen to these words: "Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest." These are words of Jesus, spoken to hearts overwhelmed by the pressures and problems of the world two thousand years ago. The marvellous news is that He’s making the same offer to you today, right now. He can do that because He is the Son of God, who came down from heaven to us on this earth not to condemn us (as we deserved then and still deserve today), but to save us.

Save us from what? Bottom line from our own selfish desires. Doing the right thing so often seems to be an effort for us - doing the wrong thing seems to come far more easily. Yet Jesus knows all the wrong things that you’ve done in your past and He still freely offers His gift of freedom and forgiveness from all of it. When He hung and died on the cross, He paid the price for all of mankind’s selfishness and evil. The only human being ever on this planet who did nothing wrong, who deserved no punishment, willingly suffered and gave up His life so that we may go free. It’s fantastic news!

When you come to Jesus, there’s forgiveness and freedom from all the mistakes and wrong things from your past. There’s rest, and peace and healing. He’ll lead you beside still waters. He’ll restore your soul. He’ll also call you to follow Him, to seek His Kingdom on this earth here and now, and then to join Him in eternal joy and rest of serving Him in heaven after death.

This world offers you ’freedom’. It’s a false freedom that ends up weighing you down more than before. Only giving your life to Jesus gives you a true, genuine, joyful and eternal freedom. It’s there for the asking. How about it?

Ken

PRAYER FOR NEW LIFE