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MARRIAGE
Is it really relevant any more? Ken Joynes investigates...
Marriage
is still - just - the norm in the UK, but as a society we’ve been
moving in the direction of co-habiting for decades now. As you
read this, it’s almost certain that you’re either close to someone
in a co-habiting relationship, or you’re co-habiting yourself.
Does
choosing a ’live-in’ relationship rather than marriage really
make any difference? Surely the main issue is one of commitment;
if it’s there, getting married is just confirming it (and, let’s
be honest, often adding a lot of time, money and hassle in the
process). And if the couple discover the commitment isn’t there,
then it has to be better to be able to separate more easily than
having to go through the trauma of a legal divorce. Doesn’t it?
Let’s
have a quick look at some statistics. 75% of marriages last more
than 10 years, with 60% lasting for life. On average, cohabiting
relationships last two years. Half of them end within a year,
ninety percent within five years. Only four percent last more
than ten years. You can argue over the exact figures, but the
overall trend is unarguable - cohabiting couples are far more
likely to break up than those that are married.
The
picture sadly gets bleaker when children appear on the scene.
8% of marriages break up within five years of the birth of the
first child; that figures rises to 52% for cohabiting couples.
The statistics on how children are affected by family break-ups
make for grim reading; last year’s report from the Social Justice
Commission reveals that children from broken families are twice
as likely as those from two-parent households to have behavioural
problems, perform worse at school, become sexually active at a
younger age, suffer depression and turn to drugs, smoking and
heavy drinking. Some estimates put the financial cost of dealing
with the rise in family breakdown in the UK at £20 billion a year.
In
trying to sort out the ’difficulties’ of marriage, it turns out
that marriage wasn’t really the difficulty after all. As usual,
the problem is us. As a society we indulge more and more in excessive
drinking, gambling and casual sex. We see the social injustice
of ’free trade’ yet still expect everything cut-price. We see
the pain and suffering caused by relationship breakdowns, yet
still scorn marriage, fatherhood and commitment. Our society gives
the OK to destructive behaviour and many of us have got ’soul-damaged’
in the fallout. What is the answer?
If
you feel like you’re struggling to deal with 'soul-damage', then
listen to these words: "Come to me, all of you who are tired
from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest."
These are words of Jesus, spoken to hearts overwhelmed by the
pressures and problems of the world two thousand years ago. The
marvellous news is that He’s making the same offer to you today,
right now. He can do that because He is the Son of God, who came
down from heaven to us on this earth not to condemn us (as we
deserved then and still deserve today), but to save us.
Save
us from what? Bottom line from our own selfish desires. Doing
the right thing so often seems to be an effort for us - doing
the wrong thing seems to come far more easily. Yet Jesus knows
all the wrong things that you’ve done in your past and He still
freely offers His gift of freedom and forgiveness from all of
it. When He hung and died on the cross, He paid the price for
all of mankind’s selfishness and evil. The only human being ever
on this planet who did nothing wrong, who deserved no punishment,
willingly suffered and gave up His life so that we may go free.
It’s fantastic news!
When
you come to Jesus, there’s forgiveness and freedom from all the
mistakes and wrong things from your past. There’s rest, and
peace and healing. He’ll lead you beside still waters. He’ll restore
your soul. He’ll also call you to follow Him, to seek His Kingdom
on this earth here and now, and then to join Him in eternal joy
and rest of serving Him in heaven after death.
This
world offers you ’freedom’. It’s a false freedom that ends up
weighing you down more than before. Only giving your life to Jesus
gives you a true, genuine, joyful and eternal freedom. It’s there
for the asking. How about it?
Ken
PRAYER
FOR NEW LIFE
To
begin a new life with Jesus, please
pray this prayer:-
Lord
Jesus, you said you wouldn’t turn away anyone who came to you.
Jesus,
I come to you now. Forgive me for having shut you out. I want
to stop living life my way and start living it your way.
I
believe you are the Son of God. I believe you died for me and
that your blood pays for my sins and provides me with the gift
of eternal life.
I
believe your promise, Jesus. I receive that gift and I acknowledge
you as my Lord and Saviour.
Amen.
If
you’ve prayed the prayer and aren’t sure what to do next, phone
us on 01822 616625 or 01822 612100, or contact a church near you
- try the Yellow Pages.
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