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How
much do you know about
angels?
Find
out with our special bible quiz!
Are
the following statements TRUE or FALSE?
1.
Angels are perfect beings.
2. Man was created a little higher than angels.
3. The first angels recorded in the Scriptures are Cherubim with
flaming swords.
4. Angels came down to earth in human form.
5. Animals can’t see angels - only human beings can.
6. Angels usually have two wings.
7. In the New Testament, angels only show themselves to Christians.
8. Angels looked after Jesus while He was on earth.
9. Angels strengthened Jesus the night before He died.
10. The angels will not be judged on Judgement Day.
Answers
below the funnies!
 DOGGY
TALES
An
Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and
wrote: ‘Woof. Woof. Woof woof woof. Woof. Woof woof. Woof.’
The
clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: "There
are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the
same price."
"But,"
the dog replied, "that would make no sense at all."
A
man took
his Rottweiler to the vet and said to the vet: "My dog’s
cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for it?"
"Well,"
said the vet, "let’s have a look at him." So he picks
the dog up and has a good look at its eyes, its ears, its teeth,
everything.
"Well,"
he says finally, "I’m going to have to put him down."
"Just
because he’s cross-eyed?" cries the man.
"No,"
says the vet, "because he’s heavy."
What’s
valued on earth....
A
very rich man was dying and wanted to take his wealth with him.
He ordered his staff to pack all his gold bricks in a huge
suitcase.
Upon
arriving at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter asked what was in the
case. "Everything that I valued on earth," the man replied.
St.
Peter opened the suitcase, had a look and, frowning, asked, "You
brought pavement?"
Life
After Death
"Do
you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his
employees. "Yes, sir," the new recruit replied.
"That’s
good," his boss continued, "because after you left early
to go to your grandmother’s funeral yesterday, she stopped in
to see you."
| DAFFY DEFINITIONS |
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Flatulence
(n.), the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are
run over by a steamroller. |
|
Balderdash
(n.), a rapidly receding hairline. |
|
Rectitude
(n.), the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist
immediately before he examines you. |
|
Oyster
(n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish
expressions.
|
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Frisbeetarianism
(n.), the belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on
the roof and gets stuck there. |
|
Coffee
(n.), a person who is coughed upon. |
|
Flabbergasted
(adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. |
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Abdicate
(v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. |
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Esplanade
(v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. |
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Negligent
(adj.), a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the
door in your nighty. |
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Lymph
(v.), to walk with a lisp. |
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Gargoyle
(n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash. |
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ANGEL QUIZ ANSWERS - 1. False (Job 4:18) 2.
False (Psalm 8:5) 3. True (Genesis 3:23-24) 4. True
(Genesis 19:1-2) 5. False (Numbers 22:22-23) 6.
False (Isaiah 6:2 - the only mention of angelic beings with wings
in the whole Bible!) 7. False (Acts 10:1-4) 8. True
(Matthew 4:10-11) 9. True (Luke 22:41-45) 10. False
(1 Corinthians 6:2-3)
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