was christened as a baby and always attended Sunday School and youth church each week with my family until I was 18. However, I lost confidence in the church I was attending and began to question the actions of many of the members. I decided to leave. At this time I left for college, and although I still considered myself a Christian, I did not attend church.

I was married for fourteen years to a man who was extremely violent, physically and emotionally, but I stuck firmly to my marriage vows, as I believed them to be binding and believed I could help him. I also had two children by this time whom I believed needed both a Mum and a Dad.

My Mum died after a yearlong struggle with cancer, but a vision as she left this world confirmed that the Lord was still with me. The next few years of my marriage became increasingly difficult. I always knew something was missing from my life as I struggled with life’s blows! After a series of harrowing incidents in my own home I finally decided to go it alone, believing it would be better for the children.

Peace began to return after my husband was removed from the house, but the stress was at times still overwhelming, coping with two children and the rest of my family 300 miles away. I felt so alone at times, but I was determined to persevere and worked hard to return to teaching. I even dug gardens to pay the mortgage! I was Mum and Dad to the children for nearly five years and working hard meant I didn’t have time to think about what had happened to me.

radually I began to build up a new social life. I made many new friends, but much of this life involved partying, drinking and clubbing at weekends whilst my children were visiting their Dad. I told myself I needed this release valve - I deserved it after working so hard, but many of the people I met only wanted to enjoy unhealthy pleasures and I quickly realised it was a lifestyle that was of little interest to me.

However, I met someone very special on these outings that made me think very differently about life. As we became friends, he began to share his beliefs with me and explained how important they were to him. He took me along to his church home group where I was quietly welcomed and felt totally at ease. The people were so friendly and open about talking through life’s issues and I soon realised that the Bible means just as much in today’s society as it did all those years ago. I began to read it when I felt stressed, dealing with the fallout and repercussions for two children coping with having parents leading very different lives apart, and having two sets of rules that needed to be mastered and understood.

As I read the Bible I began to feel the most amazing warmth from inside and I knew the Lord was beginning to heal me from within. A few weeks later we were attending our local monthly joint churches music event and whilst singing, I suddenly received a clear signal from the Lord and just knew that at that moment, it was time to give my life to Him. He was calling me! I said in my head ’I accept you my Lord into my life’, then I looked at my boyfriend, and without saying a word, he knew too, as the singing continued! After we had finished singing, we sat with the church leaders in the prayer corner, and prayed the believer’s prayer. I felt light, as if my troubles had been lifted and I was filled with His spirit, His love.

t this time I had many discussions with my home group leader and he put it to me that as a Christian I would need to find forgiveness for my ex-husband who had caused me so much pain in the past. I knew this would be my most difficult test, but by reading a lot, and more silent prayers, I finally decided to hand him over to the Lord.

My life is full of positive experiences - good times, great friends, a fantastic boyfriend, and lovely children. Why should I want to or be able to explain or deal with another person’s actions? That part of my life is now in God’s hands, and as I and my loved ones are in His care, I have nothing to fear anymore.

I have peace in my life and the Lord knows I have found the strength to forgive. He knows it is He that has given me that strength and that I will do His work always and that looking back is not an option or indeed my intention. The way is forward, as I learn more everyday and go about life’s challenges with joy and enthusiasm.

I have to say I share who I am and what has happened to me with pride and tell everyone who will listen what my faith means to me! My Christian and non-Christian friends listen and celebrate with me. And who knows, some of them may decide to come along and help out at the KK Klub or youth café with me!

Jo

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